Off My Butt

Too many calories i ate today

Tomorrow i need to walk a long, long way

Most of the weekend i’ll spend off my butt

Quite a few pounds i want to work to cut

In this house, the leftovers won’t stay

——- To many friends, we can give them away!

************

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Past

Minutes, hours tick by —

Passed, past, and gone forever

Lines grow around eyes

Gravity pulls butt

Knees snap – crackle – pop

Pads no longer for just sports

Aspirin ready

A colonoscopy yet?

How’s that bran muffin?

M. Raynes

November 51st

Once Upon a Time…

There was a day when the world went askew. Well, not only our world went off kilter, but the entire Universe, and the surrounding three Universes. We just couldn’t keep up with all the bizarre goings on! Let me tell you how it went..

It all happened on June the 75th, 1978. I know, right?!  Those free and easy 70s were super wild. Anything went back then, and trust me, many people went too. I’ve lived in Portland, OR for over ten years.. I was fourteen when i moved here with my family from Missoula, MT.  It was only three days ago that i learned there’s a place called Other Portland. That’s right. A Portland, Oregon in an alternate Universe, #3377. It sounds far away from us, having such a high number and all, but it’s really not.  Thing is, you can’t get there by rocket ship or anything like that. You have to find one of the estimated fifteen portals around this Portland; the first known Portland.  Contrary to what many believe, Portland, Maine came after. No one knows for sure who first learned of OP, (like i said, that’s Other Portland.) Usually, i’m in the know about these things. You know, the latest styles, the coolest new music, the hippest new bar this week, cities in alternate worlds. All the good stuff. But news about OP got by me!

Anyhow, today is November 51st, 2017. That’s not a real date, you’re thinking. Well, in these times, it’s real. Time hasn’t been right since mid 1978.  No one can fix it. Chronos, the God of Time himself has been missing for years, or months, or only a few days. No one knows the truth. What’s a day?  What’s a week?  What’s a year? These are complex questions.  If only we could all agree. Is Donald Trump really President, or did Hillary Clinton win the election? I wish the latter were true, but, sadly, Trump sits in the White House. Time needs to be found, pronto, but people have been saying that for years.

Tonight, my ex-boyfriend, Steven, and i are going downtown to the Six Leopards for dinner and drinks. Steve’s been trying to get back with me for about three months or so.  He hasn’t been pushy about it though, and we have a mutual fascination with the possibility of finding Other Portland. We’ve heard there’s a portal somewhere in that restaurant. If it’s there, we’ll find it. Besides, we’ve both read great reviews, and supposedly they make the best martinis and beef and crimini stroganoff anywhere. Why have we never been there?  I don’t have an answer.  He’s picking me up at 7. I have a half hour more to decide what to wear. I’m thinking vintage 70s.  I realize i have much more to tell you about that day back in 1978 when everything changed. Fate disappeared too. I’ll tell you a lot more as time passes. For now, i have to get ready for a date, and hopefully a trip to OP!

Just as i go to my closet, my phone, which i left on my coffee table, buzzes with a text.  It says, Julia, Steve. Can’t come. Sent Scorpius in my place. Hope you’re not pissed. Will call tomorrow.

Scorpius?!  Now i remember why i dumped Steven!  He couldn’t even commit to one date, let alone an actual relationship!  I’ve only met Scorpius twice. Seems like a nice star, but one never knows. I do know he works for the Agency like Steve. They’ve been hired to help locate Time and Fate. I didn’t have any idea, though, that Scorpius and Steve were close friends.  I still plan to go out. Who knows?  Maybe Scorpius has a lead on OP and the portal in the Six Leopards!

M. Raynes

PS.. I’ve been pretty lax in the story telling department lately, though I’ve written some haiku. Going to try to do better.  I feel the push/pull of my electronics often, but my love of writing never wavers. If i’m not writing here, i’m writing somewhere else. You can count on that!   🙂

Book Weather

This reading weather

Hot chocolate – a story

Atmosphere, chilling

What creepy hides behind hedge?

What sinister in pages?

🙂

Prime reading weather this is that we’re having in the Pacific Northwest!  Dark, dank, kinda spooky.  There are days when i love it, and today is one of those days.

Back soon!

Mary