I suppose that just because Neptune is in charge of the seas, it doesn’t mean he has to be near them or in them.. and i figure that’s a good thing.. because we’ve been driving in his Porsche for hours. Well let me reword, he’s been driving and i’ve been riding. He, at least.. i’m not sure about the other Gods and Goddesses, is an excellent driver. He said he’s taking me to the Moon. I’m unaware that one can drive to the moon, but whatever. In truth, we’ve only been in the car for an hour and a half. But time seems distorted. I think i may have had one too many cocktails. We’re going to the Moon because Venus has offered me a job. I know. I’m confused too. Neptune just explained to me that contrary to what many believe, he’s not in charge. He works for Venus. She’s in charge. He explained that all the mythologists have it wrong. How about that? We really do learn new things every day!
My mind is on another planet when he says, What are you thinking about, Lydia? Have you decided whether or not you’d like to take the job? Or do you want to see the Moon and your new office first? And i say, you mean what might be my new office… Okay then, what might be your new office. You’ll be doing a lot of important work; that is, if you decide to accept the position.
My head is swimming, either from the double dose of gin cassis i had at the bar or thinking about working for Venus the Goddess and having an office on the Moon, wherever that is. And, is she really THE Venus? Or is she just a woman who calls herself Venus? And clearly, Neptune and i aren’t headed for the actual moon. So where are we going? God or not, i can’t believe i got into a car with a stranger. I might still wake up from this dream yet.. if this is indeed a dream.
After another twenty minutes of driving, both of us are the pensive types and haven’t said much to each other, he pulls the car over at a deli on the outskirts of Thatcher. It’s one of those open all night places that sells sandwiches, cigs and beer. I figure he must be hungry after all the driving and want a break and some food. But no, he comes around to open my door and he says.. here we are. This night gets weirder every minute.
Neptune opens the door for me, and i hear the tinkling of a little brass bell. There’s a pay phone on the wall to the left. A pay phone? Other than that.. an enormous fridge full of beer and sodas, a large chest freezer.. the kind that is used to hold popsicles , ice cream bars and other frozen treats. It’s the kind i haven’t seen since i was a kid. There’s a big sandwich menu on the wall behind the counter and register. I feel like i’ve stepped through a door and back to the 1970s. Neptune orders us two Philly cheese steak sandwiches with extra onions, no peppers, lots of mushrooms and two large Pepsis to go. Until this minute, i didn’t realize how hungry i am. I want to sit at one of the cute little tables, there are four, to eat and drink. But all of a sudden Neptune is in a hurry. And i think, the only water around here is a small man made lake about two miles up the road. I’ve heard of it but have never been there. I expect him to turn and open the out door for me, but he leads me to the back of the store through a narrow door that’s too short for him, so he has to duck. Like i said, this night gets weirder every minute. The back room looks like a garage sale fanatic’s dream come true, or something those guys from the show American Pickers would love. But it’s at the back of this back room that i see the strangest thing so far tonight.. a set of elevator.. yes that’s right.. elevator doors. They’re beautiful, beveled glass elevator doors, and they glow a beautiful shade of deep purple. There’s only one button on the right of the doors.. the up button. Neptune presses the button.. the doors open, and he says.. after you… I’m more than a little freaked out, but i go aboard for what will likely be the most bizarre experience i’ll ever have.
By M. Raynes