Venus banished me from the moon a month ago. I’m living in a most excellent apartment down here on Earth for an unspecified amount of time. I like it here much better than I thought I would. I promised I’d at least try to behave. I came down here with the best intentions. At least that’s what I told Balzac when I left him at the mirror upstairs. He escorted me here because Venus asked him to. But, Balzac is a realist, and he was not optimistic. He knows my penchant for trouble making and apple throwing, as does everyone else back home. And I did behave.. for the first week. I fought the urge to cause discontent. I really did. But I met a man who lives five floors above me whom I want for myself. He’s smokin hot for a human. Greek God hot. Truly. I met him at a pool party the management threw for new residents three weeks ago. He’d just moved in on the eighth floor with his fiance, Heidi. But I didn’t know about her until the day after the party. Seriously, Garrick didn’t act like a man who’s getting married in two months! He came over and introduced himself to me, not vice versa. He’s the one who took my hand and started talking about the Greek philosophers and then about Shakespeare. I mean it made me weak in the knees. And he doesn’t have dark hair and brown eyes like all the men I know. He has blond hair and the sexiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. He’s six inches taller than I. Six! To top it off, he wears his hair in a manbun. I used to think that’s a silly hairdo for a man, but he wears it well. I sort of want to play with it in bed. And soon I will if things go as I’ve planned. I introduced myself to him as Beatrix. Really, of course, I’m Eris. On the moon, I went by the name Discordia, but that doesn’t fit my new home. Plus, it would give away my true identity.. and I can’t have that.
My little dog, Thelma knows what I’m up to. Venus sent her here last week to keep an eye on me. Right now she’s giving me a look. She says, I know what you’re up to, Eris. Our boss isn’t going to like this one bit. You know I have to report back to her. What am I supposed to say? … I say, you’re supposed to keep my secret, Thelma. Keep it until Garrick and I are safely married. Venus is the goddess of love after all. She won’t break up a marriage.. even mine! .. I get an eye roll in response. Same eye roll I used to give my own mother when I was a teenager.
Anyway I’ve been practicing my pitching, you know, for when I throw the apple. I’m rusty even after only a month. Though I don’t know if throwing it will work down here. I need to come up with a more subtle method. I’ll keep you posted. Now I’m off to meet with a goldsmith downtown. Believe it or not, Heidi is the one who recommended him. He’s in an interesting part of town though. 5577 NW Pine Crest Drive. I’ve called a cab. Thelma is still trying to change my mind. No turning back now. I want Garrick, and have him I shall! Stay tuned…
By M. Raynes