Eris Decides To Be Good

I tried to stop causing trouble. I did. And i was good.. for three months. But i’m Eris, remember?  Creating chaos is my nature. In fact, Venus banished me from my home over that apple episode!  She was on the verge of letting me go home, but i found myself in trouble day before yesterday. Balzac told on me. I can’t hold it against him. He works for Venus. It was three months ago yesterday that i had a date with Scorpius. I told him i was planning to turn over a new leaf. I was being truthful. We were both optimistic, the scorpion and i.  We sealed the deal with the best sex i’ve ever had. Now, i’m more beautiful than i’ve ever been, if i do say so myself, and i do. Sex makes one’s skin glow. It’s better than any potion or magic in the world. I’m a goddess, so i know. Day before yesterday, though, i met the couple who moved in down the hall. I made the mistake of making my attraction to Gregory obvious. Not to his wife, Clarice. She’s oblivious. She should be more vigilant. It wouldn’t  be my fault if i was able to steal him away. I could blame someone else. I could take a page from the book of one of the Presidential candidates. Everything is stacked against him, or so he says. He’s a horrible human. Completely self absorbed, ignorant and now people are learning, a sexual predator. So what i’m saying is, i’ve changed my mind again. I’ll not go around breaking up marriages and causing strife for humans. Gonna try again for that new leaf. My banishment will last longer because of my lapse. Even though i didn’t actually do anything to Gregory and Clarice; the intention was there, even if it was for a short time. I’m a goddess, and i’m supposed to be better than that.  From now on i will be. I’ll use my beauty and power for good.

Now.. what should i do?  I have many talents. I thought about opening my own private eye business. I have keen insight into the human psyche, ’cause you know, i’m a goddess, and i know things. I thought about becoming a cook in a restaurant. But that’s hard work, and i’m not sure i’m ready for that, though i am an excellent cook. I don’t do well working for someone else. I need to be my own boss. Maybe i could open my own dating service?  I certainly know the right questions to ask on the registration forms. I could help get couples together instead of cause breakups. I’d certainly score points with Venus. But that would be stealing Cupid’s job. Her arrows have misfired a lot recently.. but still, i’ve promised to behave. I can’t go around stealing others’ jobs.

I think Private Investigator it is. I must get some business cards printed. Gotta think of a cool name. Can’t use the name Eris, that’s for sure. I should come up with a different name. I told Thelma about the Private Eye idea, and she loves it. Thelma is my poodle. Venus sent her to keep an eye on me.  I know!  I’ll call it Moon and Thelma Investigations. The moon is my other home. If i’m good.. one day i can go back. I’ll definitely keep you posted on my investigations. I’ll have lots of stories to tell!

By M. Raynes

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