A Belching Ex and a Ring

What i want to know is, where are the magic elevators?  This stuff has been going on for weeks around here. People get on elevators and disappear into the past somewhere.. or i guess i should say.. sometime. One never hears from these people again. They don’t show up for work. They miss doctor and dentist appointments. Tell you what.. i’d love to miss my next dental cleaning because, sorry Dr. Abrams, i’ve gone back to 1740!  See you later!  Didn’t feel like dealing with that pick today. Or text my gynecologist from, say, 1925 Paris and say, oops, lost in time. Can’t make it to my 10 am. Of course, i’d love to have advance notice so i know what to pack.. or maybe i can  go shopping when i get to whenever!  Only last week, a coworker of mine texted our boss from Boston, 1825 and said, i won’t be back for awhile. I’ve met someone back here, and it’s getting serious. Then i guess she misplaced her phone, because she hasn’t been heard from again.

One of the things that’s odd about the vanishings, is that some of the places where these incidents are happening have no elevators. I’ve checked!  I’ve been all over town looking. I’ve been trying to figure out what i have to do to be transported. Is there a password?  One thing i figured out is.. most of the time travelers are single women. I’m a single woman. My boyfriend, Brent and i broke up three months ago. He wasn’t ready to commit, and i got tired of waiting. That, and he doesn’t like to read!  I tried to get him interested in books, but his eyes glazed over when i talked about Steinbeck or Stegner. Brent belched and went back to watching whatever game was on. One of his favorite shows is Ancient Aliens. I want someone who’s intellectually curious.

It’s Friday night. I’m staying in. I have Netflix for a couple episodes of Salem, my Scottie, Wadsworth, beside me, a pepperoni pizza that was just delivered, and a map of the city.  Tomorrow i’ll expand my search. And i’ll eat lunch at a deli i’ve heard about. Then i think, i can’t travel and leave Wadsworth. Well, i’m only going to poke around.  Maybe i won’t board any elevators. I’ll find the ones that look most promising. Perhaps check out some stairs and closets too.  I might even wear a disguise. Make it like a quest. I can use some excitement.

I go for a second slice of pizza, and pour myself a glass of chardonnay. I know, chardonnay and pizza don’t go. It’s a weird combo i picked up from Brent. Then, i hear a tap on my door.  Four taps. Wadsworth barks and runs toward the door.  I follow, and I look through the peephole and see no one. Should i open? It must be a neighbor. I live in a secure building.  But i open the door to no one. Whoever he was; he disappeared quickly!  I turn to go back in, look down and see a tiny wrapped package. Two inches square. And there’a tiny gift card attached. I look, and it says, Happy Birthday, Lorna!  My birthday isn’t for two weeks. I go back into my apartment. Wadsworth and i are both curious. I open the box. There’s a lovely ring in it.. just my size. I think it’s a ruby. Maybe two carats. I slip it on. It must be from Brent. He knows i love rubies, and he does have good taste in jewelry despite the belching and obsession with sports.  I’ll have to call him tomorrow. Maybe i was too hasty… I look at Wadsworth and he’s eyeing the ring like he doesn’t trust it. Like it’s a person he doesn’t know. Then he barks at it. I look at the ring, and it winks at me….

By M. Raynes


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