It appears i have a new squirrel friend. Well, friend isn’t the right word. I think the little gray one who has taken to hanging out in my backyard is my ex-mother in law. That is to say.. my recently deceased ex-mother in law. A year ago she passed away after a bout of pneumonia. I should say right now, that she and i were never friends. Not even when her son and i were married. The marriage officially lasted for eighteen years. But it was one of those marriages that was over long before it was over. I digress. This squirrel started hanging around two weeks ago. She likes to watch me work in my kitchen. She looks through my kitchen window from a low branch of the maple right outside. When i cook, she doesn’t shut up. When i load the dishwasher, she chirps to beat the band. It’s not a friendly chirp. She’s complaining. When Gerri was alive, she was constantly unhappy about something. I never did anything right, and unfortunately she visited often. She even visited once a week after Hal and i divorced. He said she liked me. I don’t believe him. She used to say stuff like.. if you load the plates this way, it’s better. That’s the way i do it. Or that’s what i’d do of i were you. Last week, i took to feeding this little squirrel. I’ve seen her bury nuts in the backyard and then stand out there next day and look around in a daze because she’s forgotten where she put them. Yes, she’s definitely Gerri. And really, it’s no surprise that she’d come back an aggressive rodent. My best friend, Elinor, thinks i’ve lost it. But i said no, i’m sane. It’s Gerri all right.
I’m still thinking about loquacious squirrel when i sit down in the living room to watch some reruns of MacGyver on Netflix. I have my sliding glass doors open because it’s September and lovely weather. Screen closed of course. And all of a sudden i hear excited chattering. Squirrel is out on the stoop. Chatter.. chatter.. chatter. I get up to close the door and my phone rings. I left it on the counter in the kitchen. I go out to pick up the phone, and the person hangs up. I grab a Pepsi from the fridge and head back to the living room. No more squirrel chatter. It’s when i go to sit down that i can’t believe my eyes. Squirrel is sitting on the couch in my spot! How did she get in here? She’s intently watching the TV! I swear she knows what she’s watching. Gerri always loved MacGyver. It was the only thing we had in common. Oh yes. This is definitely Gerri. All doubt is gone. My ex-mother in law is a squirrel.
By M. Raynes