Bare or Hair?

I was wary about finding a date online, but this guy is great!  I met him for dinner here at Campagna’s; my favorite Italian restaurant. I went to and met Mark.  He seems a class act, but one never knows who one is going to meet, you know?

We’ve finished our meals and ordered dessert. Lemon cake for him and tiramisu for me. Normally i wouldn’t have dessert on a first date because, well, first impressions.. but tonight, i’m not at all shy. We’ve been discussing Kurt Vonnegut’s writing. I’m into photography and so is Mark.  And.. if he has a lot of quirks, I can’t see them.

I’m feeling full in my figure hugging red silk dress. I shouldn’t have eaten so much, or maybe worn a different outfit. But it’s not as if i could wear elastic waist jeans. Not sexy, and red is my color!

So, Elle, you enjoy photography, tell me, do you paint?

Yes, i took a watercolor class last summer and enjoyed it. Occasionally i paint on a Sunday afternoon. Very relaxing. … I take another small bite of my dessert. Trying to remember to be polite and not eat too fast. I’m so happy to meet Mark. Must remind myself that this is the first date, and i need to slow down. I say, do you paint at all, Mark?

Yes. Yes i do. But i prefer oil on canvas. I love to do landscapes, but recently i’ve found a new subject that interests me quite a bit.

I say.. really?  What is that?

I nearly choke on my piece of tiramisu when he says.. Hair. I want to paint hair. Not head hair, but underarm and pubic hair. Tell me, Elle, do you shave?

And i think.. I should have known it would be something. Not nose picking, but a hair thing. Wait ’til i tell Melissa! Then i say, after another swig of Merlot, yes, Mark. I shave. Actually i wax…

That’s a shame, Elle. Hairy pits and pubic areas are much more fascinating to paint. I was hoping you could be my muse. Would you consider letting your hair grow?  I know it would take awhile, but i’m a patient man. You have many qualities i like!

Um.. I like being as hairless as i can be, except on my head. I love having long hair on my head.

Mmmm.. you have those lovely blonde locks. Tell me, when it grows down there, does the carpet match the drapes?

Could we change the subject, Mark?  This is making me uncomfortable. And i think.. he really is perfect for me otherwise. Maybe i should consider letting my hair grow. I could even dye it purple. But i have to think about it for awhile. It’s not a decision i can make lightly. It’s more like a third date kind of thing.

Mark says, sure, let’s go back to book talk. I don’t want you to feel awkward. If you agree to see me again, perhaps we can discuss then. After all, winter is coming. Consider the warmth. Anyway, how do you like James Joyce?

I like very much!  And i think to myself i’ll probably cancel my 10 am Saturday appointment for a wax…

M. Raynes


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