Time has been a mess for weeks, or months, maybe.. i’m not sure. It started when Chronos, the God of Time, decided to take a vacation to Montreal. He left a year ago.. or three months ago.. or eight months ago. No one knows for sure. That’s all it took. Five days away, and time is completely off kilter. Chronos got on a plane in Chicago to come back here to Portland, OR, but when he got off the plane, he disappeared into thin air. I mean, he’s a God and all, and he can do whatever he wants, but eventually he has to come back and do his job.. right? Is time going to be screwed up forever? By my calculations, and granted i’m only thirteen and in the eighth grade, today’s date is March 38th. I know! There’s no such date on a normal calendar, but what’s normal anymore? What’s a minute.. what’s an hour.. what’s a week? The couple who live in the apartment above my family’s had sex in their living room last night, and it went on and on and on. I was trying to watch Scandal with my Mom, and we had to turn the volume way up so we could hear it. My little sister was already in bed. This was an especially long episode of the show too. It was, like, two hours long.
I don’t go to school anymore. My Mom is my teacher now. I’m reading Jane Eyre. Next week, i have to write a paper on it. I know, right!? Having your mother for a teacher means you get out of nothing. The reason i don’t go to school anymore is that time is so weird. No one can agree on which day is Monday or Tuesday or a weekend. We’re all on our own. There was a news report this morning that said the authorities suspect Chronos was kidnapped! Who kidnaps a God? And last week, i mean, i think it was last week, a jerk orange man was elected President. He’s already outlawed all kinds of things! Like cookies! And vodka. My Mom’s pretty upset about the vodka thing. He’s not even supposed to be President until January, but no one knows when January comes! And another weird thing is that an hour ago, i think, my birthstone emerald ring just changed from green to pink! Who ever heard of a pink emerald?! Well, time for me to go. I have reading to do. I’ll keep you all posted on what happens though. You can count on that!