It’s 2:21 pm on August 5th, 2017. At least this day has a normal date. It’s not July 50th or September 35th! But what just happened to me wouldn’t fit anyone’s definition of normal. A lovely border collie rang my doorbell, and she dropped off a satchel full of money and a hand drawn map of Portland. I invited her in, but she wasn’t interested. She merely winked, turned toward the elevator, stood on her hind legs, and pressed the down button. I didn’t have a chance to ask her any questions, and i’m not sure she could have answered my questions anyway. She got on the elevator, and that was it.
Anyway, now i’m sitting on my couch with the satchel and its contents on my coffee table. I need a glass of wine or a gin and tonic. Since Time has been missing, strange things have been happening around Portland and other cities. My life has been mostly the usual. I’ve only, until a couple of days ago, had to deal with mixed up calendar dates. Now I’m looking at a huge pile of cash! The money and the map are supposedly from Time himself. I’m supposed to go to Apollo’s apartment, and he’ll help me find Time. No, i haven’t lost my marbles. Time’s texts said he’s lost on Neptune or Venus. Such craziness! I want a drink!
I go to the kitchen to mix myself something strong. I find i have no gin. I smile to myself and think, how did i let this happen? It’s like running out of chocolate. .. I only have enough chardonnay left for one glass. Of all the times to be close to dry. I pour what’s left and return to the couch to count the money. Time said he’d send thirteen thousand. He said it would be enough to start. I have no idea what that means. I gulp the wine, and i start counting. I count, and i count, and i count. So far, i count forty five thousand. I noticed when i lifted the satchel that it was feather light, too light to contain this much money. Is it magic money? Should i just abscond with it and hide from Time? No. It would be a bad idea to anger a god. I’ll play along and see where it leads.
If only i had gin. I go to my kitchen to look again to be sure. Yes, i have some! Behind my bread box i find a half a bottle! Why is it behind my breadbox? Why do i care? I mix myself a big gin and tonic ’cause i need it, return to the money and keep counting. There’s eighty six thousand here! What am i supposed to do with it? I don’t need this money to get across town. Are things super expensive on Neptune? Are Apollo and i going to split the bill on the trip? I need more instructions. I feel like i’ve bought a complex desk set from Ikea, and the instruction page is blank. I check my phone for more texts.. none. All of a sudden, i’m sleepy. Must be the gin and wine. I shove the money and map back in the satchel. I put the satchel under the coffee table and think, no, it needs to go in a safer place. I know, there’s a cubby hole crawl space in the hall closet behind my coats. I put it in there. Then i put an episode of Supernatural on Netflix and lie back on the couch. Is the door locked? I double check, and yes. Time for TV and nap. I’ll worry about this when i wake up. I drift away thinking about how smokin’ hot Sam and Dean are.
When i wake up, it’s dark. The clock on my mantel with the sparkling gold hands says 9:45. No idea what day it is now, even though i didn’t nap long. Dates change like that nowadays. It doesn’t happen all the time but enough of the time. Then i remember the money in my closet. I go to get up to make sure it’s still there, but i feel woozy. Then i think, where would it have gone? I drift away again.
I wake up to hear my landline ringing. Then i remember i got rid of my landline six months ago. The ringing is coming from the same closet where i hid the money. I want to answer it, but i can’t move. I feel a tingling sensation all over. I shake myself awake. The clock says it’s 10:15. Again, i didn’t sleep long. I find i can get up, and i hurry to the closet. I open the door, but this place isn’t my closet. I see a forest. A forest filled with shining red trees! They sparkle enough to be made of rubies. I look to the left, and sitting under one of the trees is the border collie. The same dog who delivered the map and money. I tell her i lost the money. She says, no you didn’t. You’re holding the satchel in your right hand. I look down, and yes, i’m carrying it. Am i dreaming? I say, i’m supposed to find Apollo. She says, plans have changed. Apollo is already here, Daphne! And what you have in the bag isn’t money. It only appears to be. You hold something much more important. And Welcome to the Moon, my friend!
To Be Continued next Wednesday. 🙂